How does having children affect a marriage?

Does having children bring out differences in a marriage or make the marriage stronger?
Parenting today is a whole new ballgame compared to the yester year. Ones a child is born, couples spend more time with their children than by themselves – which can pull them apart and leave little time to connect to each other again. I believe children who grow up in an intact, two-parent family with both parents present do better on a wide range of outcomes than children who grow up in a single-parent family. Having said that, it is also my belief that when the relationship is struggling -the demands of a child will ultimately serve to wear away at the fabric of that relationship.
Children too affect the health of a marriage and vice versa. The single, most important thing that you can do for your children is to do everything in your power to have the best possible relationship with your spouse. If they see the two of you getting along and supporting each other, they will mirror you and will likely get along with each other and their friends. On the other hand, children are also great imitators of less than perfect behavior. If they see the two of you arguing constantly, calling each other names, putting each other down, or hitting each other, you will probably see them repeating these negative behaviors. They will probably feel insecure, and this insecurity might be reflected in poor grades, bad behavior at school or home, or even depression.
Where I grew up, because of the vast network of social connections, the support of relatives and close family ties, marriages can at times survive without the emotional intimacy that marriage should provide. I have known some cases where the wife is closer to her sister than her husband and the husband closer to his father than his wife…at times the wife closer to her son than her husband…but the marriage carries on.

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3 Comments

  1. khushi

    Great topics. I am so glad you are writing again. I was out this weekend and just got back. You know one factor I think plays into all this is how old you are into your marriage and your parenting. The early years of the second is th emost difficult.

  2. Ketaki

    Awesome discussion. I am sure all of us agree that relationships change once we get a kid. Both husabnd and wife want to give the best to their baby, but their approaches are different and everyone thinks that his/her approach is the right way to go. once we realize taht there is no right or wrong; just different ways, life starts becoming easier…

  3. Kanaki

    Most of your words are plagiarized from the book “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to the Perfect Marriage”. This is a crime. You need to cite your sources and next time use your own thoughts.

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