Little efforts that convey a lot

A few days back I attended a work shop on Early child care and Parenting. It was conducted by Vatsala Sivasubramanian, a well known child pscychologist and a family counsellor. It was very interesting and she said that one of the of very important thing is to express to our children to let them know just how special and loved they really are, which we often forget to do in the daily mundane routine of our lives. I came home and was just generally surfing the net when I came across this article which I felt should be posted on Bloggers Mom.

Here are some ways to inject a little fun into every day of the year, and make our children feel treasured always. Some of you may have perhaps read/heard of them.

1. Spend time alone with each of your children. Go out to lunch, take a leisurely walk, or just hang out together letting them know you value them as individuals.

2. Nurture self-esteem and self-confidence by praising good effort and a job well done, not just results.

3. Celebrate everyday accomplishments. Make a special dinner with your child as the guest of honor to toast losing a tooth, making the soccer team, getting an A on a science paper, and more.

4. Teach children to think positive by being positive. Instead of noting how dirty they are when they come in for dinner, say, “Looks like you had a great time!”

5. Read “just one more book” even if it’s late and you’re tired. And don’t forget to read to older children who already know how to read themselves. It’s a great opportunity to snuggle.

6. Get out the photo albums and their baby books and tell your children stories about their beginnings.

7. Remind them of something they’ve taught you.

8. Tell them how wonderful it is being their parent and how much you like the way they’re growing up.

9. Let your children choose their own clothes. It shows you respect their decision-making ability. Besides, everyone will know you didn’t dress them. You would never mix plaid and stripes!

10. Get messy with your kids: Make snow angels, put your hands in the finger-paint, and mush up that clay.

11. Get to know their schedules, friends, and teachers so you can ask, “Did you and Sam sit together at lunch today?” or “What did Mr. Rogers sing in music class?” instead of simply, “What did you do today?”

12. Stop washing the dishes and talking on the phone and really listen when they are talking to you.

13. Teach your children to play jacks, use a yo-yo, knit, or do something you loved as a child. Or let your child choose something new you can learn together.

14. Bend the rules. Let your children put on their boots and jump in the puddles you usually tell them to avoid.

15. Eat dinner together even if it’s just once a week. Take turns sharing your week’s accomplishments.

16. Cut their sandwiches into shapes with cookie cutter hearts and stars.

17. Slip little love notes, jokes, poems, and words of encouragement into your children’s lunchboxes, backpacks, or next to their beds (if you leave before they wake up), just to let them know you’re thinking about them all day long.

18. Let your children overhear you complimenting them to someone else.

19. Wear the “jewels” your children make for you and display their artwork proudly in a special, visible place.

20. Try not to do all the things your parents did that you vowed never to do to your children.

21. Instead of saying, “You’re doing it wrong,” when your child makes a mistake, try saying “Why don’t you try it this way.”

22. Create a secret word, sign, or gesture of affection that only you and your child share.

23. Remember to give your children a lasting gift: roots and wings. If they push for independence, take it as the sign of a job well done.

24. Forget about yesterday. Start each day fresh. It’s a new opportunity to have a better relationship with your children and to fall in love with them all over again.

25. Hug them, kiss them, and say, “I love you” every day, no matter what. Kids thrive on it and it’s a daily fix we all need no matter what our age!

Last 5 posts by indrani



9 Comments

  1. joysree

    VERY WELL WRITTEN POINTS.I LEARNT A LOT OF SP.THINGS.I REMEMBER I USED TO WRITE LELETTER TO MY DAUGHTER EVERYDAY WHEN I WENT OUT TO WORK.SHE USED TO ENJOY THESE LETTERS VERY MUCH WHEN SHE FOUND THEM AFTER COMMING BACK FROM SCHOOL.

  2. joysree

    very wellwritten points.i learnt a lot of new things.i still remember that i used to write letters to my daughter daily when i went for work. she used to enjoy these letters very much after returning from school no matter what the subject was.

  3. Khushi

    This is a great article. I like what you said about not forgetting the importance of the little things in our routine. With a new son, I am finding that some of the things in our daily routine, even the ‘discipline’ aspects of it, or things my older son did not like are now suddenly appealing to him. It makes him feel more secure. I also like the idea of a secret word! How cool, like the password of Secret Seven

  4. Tana

    Lovely post. Even though I am not a mother I can picture the joy and how grateful one would feel if one truly had the presence of mind to act this way most of the time. Thanks!

  5. Indrani

    Hi Khushi and Joysree: I am glad you found the article useful.
    My husband some time back had taken one of my son’s artwork and displayed it on his office. Day before there was a Diwali Party in my husband’s office and Shaamak’s face lit up when he saw his painting being displayed. And then he pleasantly surprised me by saying “Thank You Papa.” I did’nt teach him nor did I tell him to do so. But such small efforts can teach a toddler in his terrible two’s such heartwarming things, I never knew.

  6. Indrani

    Thanks Joysree & Khushi. I am glad you found the article useful.
    Sometime back my husband had taken one of my son’s artwork and put it in his office. Day before yesterday, when Shaamak visted his dad’s office along with me, his face lit up when he saw his work being displayed. He pleasantly surprised me by saying “Thank You Papa.” Neither did I teach him to say so, nor had I expected out of him, given his age. But I realised that such small efforts on our part means a world to these lovely young minds.

  7. pry

    Good post..I like the secret code the best..I am going to try that with my son.

  8. sands

    Those are such good points, though we all might know them but forget them in our daily hassles. Thank you for sharing!

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