Preschool Personalities

I went to attend the Valentines party at the babe’s preschool on Friday. An usual affair with treats, pizza rolls, nuggets and kid made valentine stuff. Only a couple of the moms were present.

When the kids (3 to 4 year olds) were asked to sit down for their lunch, I noticed that the babe chose a chair with care, picking one with no name tag as his was not available ( usually they have chairs with name tages, but the party neccessitaed some without) and sat down. Soon enough another fellow came and tried to sit on the same chair the babe was sitting on.

The new kid’s technique was like this – little by little he started pushing the babe. Mildly, till he was able to get a leg in, and then they were sharing the chair and then lo and behold the babe had been unseated.

My response was to get the babe another chair and tell him, here, you sit on this side. When I came back home, my husband said that I should have instead asked the other boy to leave the chair for my son. I should have defended him and that will give him more confidence in a new class.

Preschool bullying is quite common and this may not even be bullying but my son has been unhappy with ‘other kids’ in his class. So I actually agreed with what my husband said but that was not at all the reaction that came to be naturally.

What do you think? It may even be a cultural thing as here people are more pushy about their kids than in India.

Last 5 posts by Khushi


  1. sarmila

    my kids had the same problem,when they were of this age, I used to leave them upon their own decision, by this way they learnt to be responsible, tackle some naughty kids in a proper manner.

  2. Yasmin

    Khushi, I can totally relate to this. My boys are often in such situations. And I guess it’s a part of growing up and everybody has to go through this. But, we can help our kids learn some diplomacy/conflict resolving tricks.
    We often do ‘Role Play’ at home. I pretend to be a bully who wants their toy. And they have to politely ask me to ‘wait for my turn’, or say ‘please dont push me’…etc. It’s a fun game for the kids and in the process they learn how to handle a tricky situation.

  3. Dora

    I agree with Sarmila and Yasmin.

  4. Khushi

    Thank you all. Sarmila, now thinking about it I agree, probably it is better to let them resolve it on their own. Yasmin, I like your idea of providing them tools to do so. The role play is a wonderful idea.

  5. Tana

    Khushi, What an interesting thing that kids start displaying these behaviors so early. I guess having to deal with it on one’s own is a big part of growing up. Think of what happens in the corporate world! 🙂 The combination of teaching at home through fun ways and then allowing the child to figure things out “in the field” as suggested by Yasmin sounds like the right balance.

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