Size 8 dreams

What else do you do when you are pregnant and gaining weight rapidly? And when your last round of maternity dresses, some of which I had even worn to the hospital last time dont fit you any more? When you have exceeded your last fully pregnant weight even though you have three months to go?

Ok, so let me start by saying that since I came to the US I was size 8 for two brief periods – just before I became pregnant and then one year after giving birth. Before, after and in between my weight has fluctuated dramatically depending on how frustrated or fulfilling my life was at the moment. And I think for my height size eight is a great size to have.

Just before I became pregnant, nearly four years back, I had suddenly become health conscious. I worked in an office where most of my coworkers worked out regularly and passionately, joined in races and events. When I networked in the community, it seemed that in Atlanta, unlike in India, where I hardly ever saw my mom or dad ‘exercise’ in earnest, working out was something everyone did. Plus the office was offering a discount on the gym membership, so I started going there. I had tried gyms before but they had never worked for me as I was not motivated enough to do the ellipticals or the treadmills everyday. But the gym had three classes – and the classes worked very well for me. The people were kind and friendly and that became my chief driver. I would work till 5:30 pm, work out till 6: 45 pm and be back at work by 7:00 pm. Those were the pre-baby days! Well, in about six to eight months I was at size 8 and fitting into outfits I hadnt for years and loving my looks.

Then I became pregnant, and thanks to the effetcs of all that toning and exercising, the weight gain was in control and I loved the pregnant form and was pretty confident I would lose the excess after.

And I did – all the nursing, baby and work management got be back into shape and one year after giving back, I was again surprizingly back at size 8. I did not have time to weigh myself those days and did not work out at all, but the dresses started looking good.

So much for that. Then came a period of missing my son intensely when at work – fighting the daily battle of whether I wanted to work or stay at home, missing a community of support . And of course weaning, and a runaway appetite expanded by the year of nursing and pregnancy. So my weight swelled up to what I didnt like at all. I still didnt weigh myself and the dresses did the telling again.

And then after I left my job, i lost a few lbs as I joined yoga and became less frustrated…but became pregnant again. So this time my base camp was high and I have rapidly gained weight.

But looking through the two options in my closet that fit me well, I cant help having size 8 dreams. I feel the fat melting away after birth. I look yearningly at moms with three kids in shorts and tanks. I stare at the mom with her ipod jogging in the park as her older kids play in the play area.

And I dream away.

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5 Comments

  1. sands

    Dream on and maybe it brings in enough motivation to make it a reality! Gaining weight is one part which I guess worries everyone during pregnancy.

  2. Khushi

    Thanks, Sands. I guess there is fun in guiltless dreaming as I know I cant really begin anything now to that effect. 😉

  3. Marjorie

    I know, its easiest and most free to dream when you you know you cant do anything about it now, but are hopeful you can do in the future.

  4. Pry

    I gained a lot of pounds for my second pregnancy..After 3 years still trying to take it off!!!

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