Spiderman, Superman, Batman

Indrani Spiderman, Superman, BatmanWe moved to Singapore about two months back and contrary to what most relatives and friends had said, the move turned out to be the toughest on my darling boy. He is extremely attached with his grandparents, cousins, uncles and aunts back home in India. While my husband and I could reason the move owing to career progression, financial betterment etc, the poor boy is clueless as to why we had to move at all. Reasons like ‘Dad’s job require us to move’ is not good enough. We tried building up his excitement by taking him to zoo, bird parks, and night safari. All that was good but for a while, as long as that was like a vacation.

The worst adjustment came when he had to start going to a BIG school unlike his Kindergarten in India. One off incidents of him being pushed at the play area and someone knocking him down made it worse. After a week of his joining the school, he made a declaration. “I am not going to school ever.” On a frank conversation he told me he felt intimidated by the bigger boys around in the school. Reassurance that I had spoken to the school authorities, communication, and empathy nothing worked. I realised I had to come down to his level, understand his fears and eliminate them.
I got a set of underpants with Spiderman, Superman, and Batman print. In the morning while getting him ready for school, I said “Darling, I am sending Spiderman with you to protect you. In a case older boys come to push you, just say politely but firmly ‘Don’t push’. Let’s see what happens.”
“Do you think I should let them know I have Spiderman with me to protect me? Do you think they will feel scared?”
“Darling let’s keep Spiderman a secret between us. Let them not know about it.”
And so, its Spiderman, Superman and Batman by turn through the week that supposedly protects my son. He is getting adjusted as well. Sometimes I feel, deep down, he also knows Superman is an imaginary character but these ‘Supermen’ gave the confidence to my son to handle a new school, in a different environment, in an unseen country. Frankly that’s what matters to me.

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  1. Khushi

    Indrani, first, what a good idea. It is a difficult concept to learn, and I think you are giving him just a little lift in confidence we all need sometimes. I used to believe in lucky charms at one point and they were very effective for me. I can understand that the adjustment is hard. Its just something you will have to get through, and with your patience and creativity and love, you will. I was talking to some moms yesterday and moving even within the same city to a different school is hard so a different country! Are there somethings here that he likes more than in India? Maybe highlight those more?

  2. Tana

    Welcome back! What a lovely post, and what an imaginative idea you had in reaching your son in a way he can listen and believe in himself.

  3. Indrani

    Dear Khushi & Tana,
    Thanks a ton for your encouraging comments. Had it not been for the push from you both, I guess the break from Bloggermoms would have been forever. My son likes this island country sporadically. For the rest of the time, he wants to run back to his extended family in India. A friend once said ‘A child is the mother of creativity.’ So true! Every day with my son is a new day, new surprises, new learning and new challenges. But I’m loving it all.

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